If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
thus making me awesome and them whores
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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