he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
