Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
