She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
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Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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