You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
