i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
