....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
