Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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