I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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