I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
