I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize