dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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