is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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