So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
