We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
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Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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