Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
