what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
