Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
