Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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