I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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