you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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