When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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