FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
