and my herpes radar will keep us safe
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize