But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was like eating out sand paper
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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