I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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