There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
