i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
