why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
