Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
