I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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