the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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