i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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