i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
