Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
