YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
