Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
