Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
