I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
