it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
