Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
