He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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