South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
