She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize