Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
