just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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