Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize