Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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