If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
