I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
