is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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