yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
