she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
