I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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