i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
