we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
