The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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