and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
