look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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