It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who died my cat blue again?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
