Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize