The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
