Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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