i was born a porn star she said
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
